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When I gave birth to my son a few years ago, my husband was working out of town for several weeks. He was scheduled to be home at the time of birth but due to the fact that babies are notorious for not arriving when they are supposed to, my sister offered to stand in when we got to the labor room. She was a state-licensed nursing assistant, so I thought that she was qualified. Boy was I wrong!
My husband made it home on a Monday. I woke up Wednesday morning to find that my water had broken. We called our families and headed for the hospital. My husband was a nervous wreck, so my sister agreed to stay with me in shifts. She had made a point to tell all the nurses that she was a certified nurse’s assistant and assured them that she knew exactly what to do. I had already decided to have drugs during my labor since I had natural labor with my first child and still felt the pain to this day.
After about an hour in labor, the doctor came in to inform me that it was time to get my epidural. He explained that they were going to place two thin wires into my back that they could then use as a passage for the drugs. I sat on the edge of the table and clung to my sister, as she watched the procedure over my shoulder. All of a sudden, she fell over and hit the floor. I slid off the table and landed right on top of her. Here we were in a small pileup on the labor room floor. I began laughing so hard that the nurses could barely get me back on the table. Because I was in labor, when I began laughing, I ended up urinating on myself as well as my sister. Meanwhile, the nurses were administering smelling salts to my sister, who was covered in my urine. When they finally revived her, I asked her what had happened. She said that blood started to shoot out of my back. Well, duh! I asked her what she thought was going to happen when they stuck the wires in my back. She then explained that she worked in a nursing home, so seeing blood was not part of the job. It was a fine time to tell me that now.
Needless to say, my husband’s break time was finished. He remained with me until our son was born. And I decided that I would never ask my sister to help me give birth again.
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