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I don’t cook many things, but one of the things I know how to cook well are chicken wings. Mostly I save them for special occasions like the Super Bowl and family get togethers.
One day I am decide to make them for the big game so I take 3 dozen wings out of the freezer, place them on a broiler pan, and put them on the stove to defrost. About 30 minutes later I go to check on them and I find my 23 pound cat Vinny on the stove licking the chicken wings. I quickly fuss at him and chase him out of the kitchen. Damn cat.
After taking care of that problem I go back to my bedroom. 5 minutes later I go check on the wings again because I have a feeling that I should. When I round the corner, Vinny is on the oven once again helping himself to the chicken wings. This time I grab the squirt bottle and shoo him away. That’ll teach him.
After another 5 minutes I go check my wings with my squirt bottle in hand to make sure that fat bastard isn’t trying to eat them. As I enter the kitchen Vinny has a chicken wing in his mouth and is jumping off the stove. I guess he had had enough of getting in trouble and decided he would take one where he wouldn’t be disturbed.
When he hits the ground his eyes go wide as his mouth drops to the floor because I caught him red handed. The wing plops on the ground and Vinny is frozen in place with an ohh shit look on his face.
I tell him “ohh hell no” and begin lighting him up with the bottle. He runs into the living room and bolts under the couch. But I’m not about to let him off so easily this time, so I lunge into the prone position to squirt him. Unfortunately I was too close to the entertainment center because I hit my left knee square on the nerve.
My leg goes numb, but I continue to squirt Vinny through the pain. He then runs out from under the couch, down the hall and into the bedroom. I am on his tail soaking his chunky ass. Of course my leg is still numb so I am hobbling after him.
I continue chasing and soaking him back into the living room to the bed room and the living room once again for a full minute. The whole time my wife is laughing her ass off in the chair in the living room. I finally run out of water and Vinny looks like he had a bath.
Maybe I went a little overboard, but Vinny hasn’t tried to eat one of my wings again either.
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