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I have a lot of respect for my father-in-law. I lost my dad when I was a little kid, so I never really had a father figure to take me under their wing. When I met my wife, I loved the fact that her dad thought the world of me. As much as I felt nervous in his presence, he always attempted to calm me down unknowingly. He is very down to earth, and always willing to help everybody in need; a real superhero. I never really saw him lose his cool, until that one summer where he repeatedly let his other side shine.
My in-laws live on the river. My father-in-law, as a hobby, owns a few boats, and before he got big into cars these boats were his passion. The second summer after meeting his daughter, he decided to take us out on a nice little boat ride downstream. It was the beginning of the season, and my wife had planned to spend the summer teaching me to water ski. But that would come in due time; this ride was for pure relaxation. And man, it sure started off that way. The wind in my hair, the sun beaming down, I was hoping it would never end. We had trailed off course a bit to see a nice little lighthouse off the coast about an hour south of the boat launch, and we swung around to head back towards home. About halfway there, the boat shuddered, the motor choked out, and my father-in-law, who is very mechanically inclined, failed in trying to get it started back up.
Now, this man stays calm through the worst of events. His even temper was starting to wear thin, however, as he became more and more irritated with every boater that passed by without even an offer of help. It was not long before the comments started to fly. “Yep…keep on going, a**hole!” “Don’t bother helping us out, just keep looking at us as you pass by”. The only option we had was to call a friend of his back on land (thank God for cell phones) to bring down his boat and tow us back. Since the current was carrying us back south, we had to paddle over to the shoreline, hop out and hold the boat so that we would stay in one spot until we were rescued. As much as it sounds like an easy plan, try holding a boat still in the current of a river sometime. Of course, as we did this, the rubberneckers that passed by increased in number, ignoring my father-in-law’s comments. We were towed back home in the next two hours, and he immediately went to work on the problematic motor.
Two weeks later, insisting the boat was fixed, my father-in-law called us down again for another boat ride to make up for the lousy outing last time. We of course agreed, and just about halfway down the coast, again we found ourselves on the shoreline waiting for a tow. Like clockwork, our fellow boaters passed by like we weren’t even there. This pissed my wife’s father off a little more, adding more fuel to the flame that was still burning from last time. The curses came out a little more. “Jesus, look at these a**holes passing by us, like we were a piece of s*** floating by in the water!” “These f’ng bastards could give a s*** about anyone but themselves!” Of course, it was all said within earshot to be overheard in an attempt to lay in some inkling of guilt. However, I do not believe it worked. Again, for the second time that summer, we were towed after a 2 hour wait. His friend said, with a smile, that he would have to start charging a service fee.
It was halfway through the summer when we were offered a third ride on the famous ship that couldn’t. It started nice and smooth, and we were having a great time. The sun was bright and it was nice and hot; a perfect summer indeed. We were relaxing down the coast, not even questioning the fact he told us over and over before we boarded that this time it was running perfectly. In fact, he told us that he and his wife took it out a few times since the last episode without an issue. This comforted us for about five minutes until the boat died again. The man went from calm to irate in a matter of seconds. He kicked the motor, grabbing the safety floatation seat in the rear of the boat and launched it twenty feet in the air. There were a few people nearby; however, they were spared his comments. Instead, he took it out on the motor. Rather than using the paddle to make yet another trip to the shoreline, he continued to try and jumpstart the motor with the smash of the oar. Thankfully, my mother-in-law phoned in another favor, or else I think we would still be there witnessing the tantrum.
It was that summer he vowed never to help another stranded soul. I felt bad for this statement, because he is such a great guy who does go out of his way to help anyone in need. I suppose over time he lost some of his bitterness, but I do believe that was the year he ended his passion for boating and took up cars instead. While you can break down in a car, at least you aren’t fighting the current, I guess. I remind him of that summer, and it still gets under his skin, but we laugh about it somewhat now. I know I will never ask him for a boat ride again, that’s for sure.
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