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I don’t know why, but a majority of the action in my life occurred during the years I was seventeen. Perhaps we try to get away with a lot before we are legally adults, that this long year of waiting forces us to take part in the craziest of schemes. Attempting to buy alcohol, cigarettes, experiment with narcotics, whatever it may be, we must attempt to get away with as much as possible while under the legal age. I have tried all of these with success, more than once I must admit. But the greatest accomplishment was getting into the all nude strip joint in downtown. I felt like I was on top of the world, even if it was only for a few days.
The place was called Club XXXotica, an all nude juice bar on the lower end of town. The catch was there was a two drink minimum, at $5 a pop. But hell, with the ten dollar cover and dollar lap dances, it was all worth it, especially at seventeen. They had no issues letting us in because they weren’t serving alcohol, so their attitude was why not? Once inside, we were awestruck. Seeing beautiful young women completely nude doesn’t happen much to the average high school kid. Especially ones so developed and enhanced. We soaked it all in, watching the stage so intently we didn’t even notice the girl move up to the buddy sitting next to asking for a lap dance.
Since we were new to this whole thing, we found out a few things with that first experience. Lap dances are cheap, don’t last long enough, and feel pretty damn good when they are completely naked. My turn was next, and the woman donned in only a garter on her right thigh to hold dollar bills, mounted me as if I were a race horse, pressed my face against her sweet smelling bare breasts, and rode me for a two minute stretch. It took all I could not to get over excited. By the time she was done, the next girl was on stage. We spent the next three hours in the club, right up until the place closed for the night. Thirty bucks later, we were high on life as we ran around to locate our parking spot. This was our new found treasure, and we could not wait until we have enough to go back. Every article of clothing smelled of the combination of perfume and body lotion, and I was not complaining.
The following Monday at school, we couldn’t stop talking about our return visit, and that it needed to be real soon. One of the guys with us that night eventually admitted that he already returned that following night, because he just couldn’t wait. After making fun of him for the next ten minutes, we ended in a jealous sigh that he had a lot more money than the rest of us. We finally made our trip back the following weekend. We had the scene down pat, too. Order the two drink minimum right up front, so they stop badgering you the rest of the night. Pick out the skanky girls while they are making their rounds for lap dances, and change seating areas right before she made her way towards us. I watched as my one friend laid on the stage as a dancer picked up the dollar bill off his face without using any hands. Another one of the guys moved around like a chess pawn as the ugliest broad of the night was chasing him for a lap dance. Our rich friend went into the back for a three-song couch dance. He claimed they did a lot more back there than just playful riding, but we will never know for sure. I sat and had the time of my life yet again. I was in a chain of women plopping on my lap at a buck a seat, watching as they did everything possible under the law, and a few other things that were questionable. I felt so important I even chipped in an extra buck for some of them.
We made one more visit later that month, but it was already wearing thin. I guess it was just one of those places that never live up to the first experience. It was raided a few weeks later, and we never got another chance to relive the club experience. For what it was, it made us feel like we were living the dream of every guy in America. I know, simple thinking for someone about to be a “man”, but as someone sings in the radio, I’m still a guy.
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